Dating and physical boundaries
That rule, trying to grow facial hair, and being prematurely overconfident about my ability to actually convince girls to come to my room are the only things I remember about my freshman year of college. “We were just trying be faithful to our boundaries” isn’t going to ease the awkwardness.
I got a “Values Violation” for having my door propped open only 4.5 inches while studying with a female Spanish tutor that I wasn’t the least bit attracted to.
But first, there’s something I really, really need you to hear: This post is not meant to shame you if you’ve already make sinned—big or small—with a guy. I’m not talking about the kind of mild-mannered, easily-overcome addiction I have to a certain raspberry chocolate-chip gelato right now.
Trust me—I’ve been there, and I have nothing but love and compassion for you and your situation. I’m talking about a physical addiction that comes from things like drugs more often than ice cream.
I knew the Bible said that sex was for marriage, but everything else was a bit gray.
Because I didn’t have clear boundaries, my girlfriend and I hung out in ways that caused our physical attraction for each other to heat up way too quickly.
Anytime your body experiences pleasure—whether morally “good” or “bad”—the limbic system gets washed in dopamine. I don’t want to give you the impression that it’s to stop, but I’ve often mused that stopping once you’ve started down that path is like trying to cage a lion with string and popsicle sticks. (But be sure the check out the posts on that subject in our archives! For now, you need to know that who God created men and women to be plays out big time in the world of intimacy.